Some people are not meant to be surfers, I have concluded.  Oceanside is one of the best places in the country to catch a wave, drawing in thousands of surfers each season, and I longed to be one of them.  I began lessons last year, enjoying only the tiniest of improvements. At first, I could…

Let me start by saying that after spending the morning surfing, you will find sand in body parts you didn’t even know existed. In addition to my oceanic microdermabrasion, my scalp was completely covered in sand. I have a bruise on my hip from falling off my board in shallow water. Hard. But, I can…

Oftentimes, nothing in the world makes any sense. One morning when I was still living at the beach studio, a cat wandered into my home, lost and hungry. I ultimately fostered “Raven” for several months until her owner took her home. During that time, Raven’s owner visited her often. It was obvious she was a…

** All names have been changed to protect the innocent. If anyone is interested in donating to my roomie’s incredible rescue, please contact me. My contact information is in the Contacts section. “Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—    While I nodded,…

I once had a psychologist tell me that every single man she’d ever known had penis issues. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. She told me she wouldn’t want one for anything. After this cake experience, I’d have to say I agree. I think it might be a lot like owning a pet grizzly bear; it…

After much debate over the past 24 hours, I finally decided to visit an adult shop for a penis cake mold. While driving there, inexplanably, a strange song came on m Sirrius, when is normally a heavy metal station. In a deepest of deep baritone, the man sang, “ooohh, baby, choooocolate candy….” “It’s your birthday,…

I would first like to note that instead of calling the eight other people living in our small apartment complex my “roomies”, I will be given each of them, and all of the other people in my life, a pseudonym. I am writing this post at 1:16 AM, the day before Easter. This will be…

My first order of business after arriving was to find a place to get my hair done. After asking a Facebook group of locals, I was given the name of a salon nearby. My first visit was uneventful, so I schedule a follow-up five weeks later. About two hours before my appointment, the owner texted…